The Girl Geek

{September 1, 2007}   TMNT: No more CGI, please! (Warning: slight spoilers)

I finally got around to watching TMNT tonight. I quit working at the movie theater only a month before this movie came out, so I didn’t have a chance to see it for free. Anywho, I popped this baby in, and realized that I hate CGI. Don’t get me wrong, the CGI on this movie was done pretty well, except for the part that everyone was completely disproportional. But, I gave the movie the benefit of the doubt, since the characters did resemble the comic/cartoon more than the live action movies. That being said, I started hating on the movie only 5 minutes into it. I was never a huge fan of the comic/cartoon version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I mean, I grew up on the live action ones, Secret of the Ooze being my second favorite movie as a child (after the Little Mermaid). I barely remember the cartoon since I was so young (negative 1) when it first came out, and I was too young to read comics at the time.

Regardless, trying to explain the South American background of the story made the intro too long. Not only that, but I couldn’t get into some of the voice acting. Especially Splinter. I understand that Mako, the guy who played his voice in this movie died part way through production. However, you can tell that instead of finding someone who had a similar voice, they found a Russian/Italian guy with the clichĂ© New York accent. Wasn’t Splinter Japanese? So, that killed part of the movie. Another section that killed was April O’Neal. I am sorry, but Buffy is not synonymous with a computer programmer/news anchor. The other voice actors were either decent or close enough to the original that it was negligible. Don’t get me wrong, the people who make their living being voice actors, they’re good at it. The people who are normally on screen, for the most part, shouldn’t lend their voices to animated characters because they’re not good at changing their voice. The guys who played Mikey and Leo are pro voice actors. That’s why I didn’t feel like ripping out their voice boxes during this movie.

So, the storyline was sub-par and the voice acting was okay. That’s almost usual for a CGI movie. Why was I surprised? Because the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was something that shouldn’t have been touched if they couldn’t do anything good for the series. First of all, the comics are their own entire universe, so they really don’t count in the discussion. The cartoons can change anything all they want, because unlike a movie, they have to make new things happen each episode to keep kids watching. Kind of like Scooby Doo. This movie, however, made itself into one long episode of the cartoon. The other thing that really ticked me off was that there was no clear bad guy. Unlike the first two (three?) movies, there was a true bad guy between everything that was happening, and his name was SHREDDER! Ugh. Please, how can you make this movie and not include even a remnant of the scariest Japanese villain? I refuse to count the “foot clan” shown on screen, because they’re just related to the real Foot clan by name only. They were contracted by the supposed bad guy to help him capture monsters. WTF? The end of the movie sucked even more by then bringing up the idea that A) there was going to be a second TMNT coming out, and B) Shredder would be in it.

How pathetic. There were no good jokes in this movie, either. No quotable “Bossanova” moments, not one “Cowabunga!”, as I can recall. This show gets only 1 out of 5 Tetris pieces.


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